In Search of Truth

Keep Control…

lilla29 — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:25:23 +0000

Think it´s time to put an end to it
to try clean my head again
try to resuscitate my engine
try to walk back where i ran

keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency
keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency

i break up all the things behind me
going on the other way
try to find myself again slowly
to move on the other day
all the nights i kept my eyes open
all the days i tried to sleep
wash away the troubles around me
did not see i fell too deep

keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency
keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency

something new has moved into my life
an essential missing part
takes control of my past addiction
and reanimates my heart

keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency
keep control, of me
try to keep the frequency

keep control..

~Sono~

Speak truth…

lilla29 — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:15:36 +0000

It’s been kinda hard to sit back lately with the knives stuck in my back. They were recently pulled out, one by one…but the wound is fresh. Surely, after the pain goes away….I’m sure the scars will remain. What’s worse than the wound, and the scars…is how much pain I felt as they were slowly tearing through my flesh and digging deep into my back. A sheep in the midst of wolves…I made it out…alive!

Someone recently asked me…”Will you ever be able to trust again?” My answer is…yes, I will. Flesh is just flesh…but my spirit remains intact. For no matters of the flesh will ever break my spirit. I will not deny nor deprive myself of true value…true worth…true wealth in life. A great quote by Albert Einstein says it all: “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediorce minds.” Speak truth Mr. Einstein…speak truth.

Mom and Son…

lilla29 — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:05:41 +0000

One of my favorite thing to do in the whole entire world is read to my child before he goes to bed. It’s usually a different book every night followed by Psalms 23. He is starting to recite Psalms 23 with me every night…so I know that I’ve had his undivided attention when reading that verse to him. Yesterday, I had borrowed a new book from his school entitled “Love You Forever.” It is the sweetest story I have ever read. It shows the bond that a mom has with her son. No matter how old he gets, he will always be my baby. The mother rocks her son back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and as she does this, she sings him a song:

“I’ll love you forever…I’ll like you for always…As long as I’m living…My baby you’ll be.” With the tears streaming down my face, my son looks at me after I was finished, with those big blue eyes and said to me “Read it again mommy.” And I did…and after I read it to him…he took the book and read it to me. He’s only 4, and he can’t read yet, but he read it off memory. This is a moment. A moment that he will never forget, and that I will never forget. It couldn’t have come at a better time.

When the mom in the story grew old…her son picked her up and rocked her back and forth…back and forth…and sang her a song:

“I’ll love you forever…I’ll like you for always…As long as I’m living…My mommy you’ll be.”

I can’t even think about it without tears coming to my eyes…but that is the truth. Nothing can come between a bond between mother and son…especially when that bond is nothing else but unconditional love and trust. Nothing and no one will ever come between my son and I…because I’ll love him forever…I’ll like him for always…As long as I’m living…My baby he’ll be.

Soulmates

lilla29 — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:47:59 +0000

Lying in bed, the darkness of the night surrounds me. Gazing out my window on a cloudy night, my eyelids weigh heavily on my eyes. Not a star in sight. I can still see the faint glow of the moon light camouflaged behind the smokiness of the clouds. That’s my liberation. He pointed at the moon, and said “free yourself little girl…free yourself.”

“I want to go home. I don’t belong down here…I’ve always known, but I just can’t let go…I just can’t give up on him.”

“You, my child, are here for a reason. You must not let the delusions of the world drag you down with their powers of lust, hatred and greed. You are down here for him. And you are the one who has chosen to come find him again.”

“Why? When all I do is suffer…why did I choose to return for him?”

“Unfinished business.”

“I’ve always known. I left him a million times. Only to return.”

“His flesh is corrupted.”

“It is not his flesh that I desire.”

“You are wise, you have learned many lessons I see. His spirit needs you…it always has. But it is your choice and only your choice if you choose to let him go.”

“How can I let him go? Who will catch him when he falls? The powers that be consumed him, and have left him in a deep sleep, but I know, deep down, I can awaken him.”

“If you must. But let it be known, this is a difficult task at hand.”

“Do not worry for me.”

“You are simple at heart…your spirit is kind. For if this is your destiny, then fulfill it. I only have one question for you, my simple child…Would you give up heaven to be with him in hell?”

“Yes…I would…I already have. But I cannot stay here much longer, for my spirit yearns to have him by my side in peace and harmony. I will show him. I will lead him. I will guide him.”

I closed my eyes, prepared for my journey to fly around the universe in my dreams. I feel a poke at my side…

“This is truly something special my child…for you have found your soul mate in sleep…and in sleep, his spirit dreams about you.”

“And I dream of him.”